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Myo Niimura

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dafuq?? [15 Sep 2012|04:53pm]
its been too long i didnt open my own livejournal
i meant, i do still open LJ,for reading Hollywood's gossips
but maaan...
i'm proudly said..dafuq i wrote before?
wahahahaha this is the time,when you realize so much going on in your life and you are changing
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Writer's Block: Horrible bosses [08 Jul 2011|03:44pm]
Who was the worst boss you’ve ever had? Did you ever get your revenge?

My previous job. She is an owner some pre school in my country. She looks fashion, sophisticated bitch. And she always says that she's religious and congregation of some luxury famous church.
but her heart is so cold and fierce. Not a revenge from me, let God took that part. But i heard now she's havin financial problem..maybe that the karma
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cruel season [22 Dec 2009|10:26am]
Yes...then i cried of Brittany Murphy's death.
Well i'm not her biggest fans, but as i thought i almost watch every of her movies. Things that made me remembering her is all her movies that i watched there's meaning of it. There's something that struck my head, and have values on it.

Watching her role in Girl Interrupted, makes my life would never be the same again esp on her scene where she ate a lots of chicken roast on her depression and when the suiciede temp then the background soundtrack is "why does the sun go on shiny~~...dont tell now it's the end of the world" ( i just knew this song, never knew the title ). I swear, that scene is a wake up call for me, to stop myself not doing that. Yes, i'm having the tendency of loath of eating when i'm stress (and it happen again)

i think. im having eating disorder that i ... just cant stop eating, the urge of want a food is too much already T___T. i'm starting to losing it again.
i'm the type of when you're stress...then you have tendency to eat.

Ok i admit, that hell office stains alots of hurt, anger & humiliation on me, the new office is not helping at all its like solitary, no money at all...and friends are busy with their own life, doing my fave sport/music as Taiko is not really makes me happy these days and praying to God is not liberating too. Its a complete set of devestated and depression.

But i'm still try to convinced my self that i cannot -not-gratefull with what happen to me now. I just have to live with it, so here i am...eating sugar, My TV is not dead for 24hour, and playing and -addictive- Dinner Dash. All alone at my room.

No no no i'm not a drama queen and i try to not writing a goodbye letter here, this entry its just written how i am
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bye blog? [15 Aug 2009|09:55am]
yes...in these era of facebook and twitter...
i'm sssoo seldom to write blogs again...but this LJ still active...by reading hollywood gossip wahahahaha
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obsession [29 Jun 2009|08:45am]
To forbid myself...to not obsessed is hard ya.
i always TOO MUCH happy or TOO MUCH sad. i hate this symptoms really...
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Bad Bad Personalities [27 May 2009|03:46pm]
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

* Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

* Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

* Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

* Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

* Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

* Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

* Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

* Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common.
1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.

2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.

3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Taken from Yahoo!
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I am scorpion... i am egoist [07 Feb 2009|08:46am]
I am scorpion... i am egoist
people said scorpion girl is nuts, and that's the fact.
i dont like losing...i have an ego.

So when someone or something hurt my ego...then even i have to admit that i'm not that good. Still my ego is hurt. I am that 'kanye west-ego-thingie'


if i dont meet my friends in this several weeks, is not that i'm not love you...
im just fixing my ego...
and til today' im still not happy about it

i feel like being slap for 1000x times this 2 weeks, and i kept quite. Coz that's what i call being grown up. So please let me...just fix my life, stack up my life again. no matter how much sushi plate i can finish, or why i love my hamster so much. i'm on taking care my ego...just imagine me in 'flight mode' or...'sleep mode'

see...i'm holding my feelings
i'm holding my tension
i'm holding my ego...

i'm just growing up...
i hope next week,i'm alive again

i'm stacking my life...
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Rest In Peace [02 Feb 2009|01:39pm]
Rest In Peace

Alpino Van Widosarihouse

1 Nov 1995 - 1 Feb 2009

The Best Dog I Ever Had

i'm so sad that in the last day i cant see him...but the other side, i dont want to break my heart again, so i'm kindda thankfull that i didnt see him suffer.

But for a pug dog. 14 years is amazing...
and 11 years with him is a blessfull

so goodbye my lover

(my baby hamster)
i miss you
nice to have 11 days with you


(the hamster's mother)
its fun to have 1 1/2 months with you


I am broken hearted
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i ran out my ritalin [19 Jan 2009|12:15am]
Big Bang - Day By Day



SO... i pass the boy band era, pass the jpop era, pass the momusu era , pass the visual kei

era, lil' tip on korean era
and you know, i feel like so old now ha ha ha ha

Today, i watch vclip of boy band korean, Big Bang. i suppose they have a lots of fan girl.

It's ok kids~~ you deserve to have them to be your idol for now, but for me. Ow~~ that v-clip

is redundant.i'm so pass the era of -boy do make up- ya!! ha ha ha ha ha

Gile, adegan 1 yang gue liat adalah 2 pria sedang agak ngerap dan terlibat dalam quarrel gitu,

asli tuh vclip kok boytouch alert dimana-mana. In the first sight, asli gue kira mreka mo

ciuman gitu ha ha ha ternyata critanya mreka mo brantem gitu,jadi adu kepala ha ha ha *damn my

maho mind*

Anggota boy band itu sendiri,biasalah ada yang tipe supa cute, ada yang tipe brandalan, dan

sisanya ga jelas antara mreka cameo, ato cuma bisa dancer.

Lalu ke adegan berikutnya, si brandalan menangisi si wanita, dan si supa cute juga menangisi

si wanita, ya~~ cinta segitiga gonoh. AND then...mreka si cowo-cowo cute ini menangis. IYA

menangis!! dengan air mata bercucuran, dan~~ eye liner mreka luntur!!! *oh dude~~* ga itu aja

bekas adegan berantem itu, bikin mreka pake band aid dengan posisi asimetris di muka ganteng

nya mereka!!. (er...klo brantem bukanya bogem biru-biru ya,bukan pake band aid deshou?!?!?!)

OK adegan berikutnya...
Adegan rumah sakit !! *here we go again* the typicall korean drama yang cewe nya mati karena

kanker. I wonder~ is there any nuclear radiation in korea (sorry ya klo beneran memang

ada,maap nilai sejarah dunia gue dulu pas-pas an) so that all the girl in korea died caused by

cancer?!?!. Hey i'm not playing around with cancer people ya, i find my families died caused

by cancer too, but sometimes this whole korean drama plot it always ended up in there. Got

cancer and die! It seems like, if-u-die-by-cancer-your-life-is-more-respectable.

OK, enough with the cancer thingie..balik ke Video Clip

setelah adegan rumah sakit,lalu adengan si wanita mau dioperasi. Si cowo-cowo itu baikan, dan

ntah kenapa si brandalan ngasih cincin tuh wanita ke si supa cute. AGAIN, the adegan is so

maho ya! PASTINYA si cewe mati.

DAN ceritanya selesai.

Oh, about 6 years ago i thought i'm gonna love that boyband figure for forever. I feel like

they're too kinclong ha ha ha dan please ya, kayaknya dengan gue umur segini ga jamannya deh

demen tuh anak-anak abg, ga pantes...phedofil banget rasanya ha ha ha
gue yang dalam kehidupan nyata pernah jalan sama anak umur 15thn aja,all my friends like

so..geleng-geleng kepala =P.

So,sometimes i wonder aja kadang penggemar2 boyband yang bukan teenage.Get up and get your

life dude. Atau Mungkin karena mreka blum pernah ketemu Mr.Jackson aja yaaa...

Siapakah Mr.Jackson?
Dia adalah salah satu ayah dari murid-murid disekolah gue, ga usah gue tulis nama panjangnya

ya tapi dia mang namanya Jackson. Gileeee ntuh manusia ganteng banget ya. Ganteng dewasa,tapi

gue yakin jaman dia teenage , tampang dia juga tampang bishonen gitu. Tapi sekarang dengan

beard, dan clean cut hair....gossshh he's sooo ganteng!!!!! (walopun gue tau doi ber istri dan

bentar lagi punya anak 3).

Itu dia tampang lulusan bishonen yang waktu dewasanya,dia pun jadi pria ganteng. Kasihan

istrinya ngejagain suami nya extra keras ha ha ha. Maap tak bisa gue posting fotonya. Takut

euy ketahuan, secara...kumpulannya artis Indo. Ntar malah blog gue terlalu publik dan jadi

geger lagi huawhuahwuawuauwha.


doing nothing...

This is so dull, my Ritalin is out and well got no money to buy it yet. This is no good, my

swing mood and my deppresion is quite haunting me again.

the trigger? this broken air-con, and watch tv series that should be entertain and funny but

makes me having crazy swing mood and my minds going everywhere, bringing bad aura. Gosh i hate

it...i feel so intens now

Leni told me to not drinking Ritalin too much,it makes my brain slower. But dont know ya i

feel that just my emergency medicine now and i need it.

when i write this entries, i dont think my mind is straight now.
i'm feeling like...so complicated, it said that people follow God's words and He will release

us free. But y'know~ i'm not feeling that free, and it's depressing. It should be releasing

but its not. So must be something wrong with me.

i am holding back my own life because i dont want to dissapoint everyone, and that's why i am

not moving. Gyah, it's just complicated and my mind is soo unclear

and dont know why, this soundtrack PADI - Jangan Datang Malam ini...it's so my song now. *nd

yeah i like that vclip, Sheila Marcia as lesbian, she's hot dude*

Y'know maybe i am just lost...so lost. After 9 years dreaming and longing about that person,

and now i decided to erase all of the memories. It's hard...now i dont have a hope, and i'm

feeling worried because i dont find any person to be loved,or crush (i mean a really true

crush,not just 5 minutes crush that i always do)

THis is so twisted. That person came when i was teenage. When i was dealing with my mind,

dealing some traumatic situation, and there the person was. Came to my live, i have the

feeling of..ow we're good friend because we have same situations as the torched soul. This

person still abusing my mind whenever we met. The last time i met this person, i really want

to tell how's my real feeling and i want to tell how this person is always being abusive. But

of course it's not happening.

I am 24 not and i'm still in borderline, and i'm so hate it
maybe i should live far away from anyone i love so i can take my live in pieces and glue it

together. I am still the torched soul,

andd this Grey's anatomy series makes my craziness complete

5hours to run
starting crazy stressfull monday

p.s : and the nightmare still haunting me.
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Team Choco Pic [24 Dec 2008|04:58pm]
Just got this pic from Francis
i like this picture, dunno why...nice lighting, dan lihat donk rambut poni jambul gue ala' Zako Mizuho....it took a long time only for that jambul ha ha ha . THis is the last performance of my group, and my 1st mental asma shock disorder come, did u know half an houur after this pic taken, i got panic attack and then collapse. ckckckckckc

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After bday [29 Nov 2008|11:28am]
i want to be a kid againn~~~~

*feeling old*
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Coz we're not perfect [24 Sep 2008|08:03am]
This I-SAD SCHOOL office...ckckckck
hands down...

for a mistake, the boss give me first and last warning letter
bcoz she just...hates me.
and even everybody that hear what's going on,all said that everybody who got involved is having the part of mistake.
Yup...ladies and gentlemen, i'm brave enough to say i'm sorry and apologized, still...my dissapointment a big fucking dissapoinment is THAT first and last warning letter.

that unfair, where's my second letter or third letter?! i deserved that! Ow..i know! because i'm just the in the 'lowest chain food' of company. So, i dont care if she really hates me, but i do care for myself that she just not the person that I THOUGHT before. See~ another christian claimer person done this to me. God please punish that woman~
so i think all those bible and preach that she hold everyday is aint a thing at all.

Hm, better looking for a new job now
wish me luck, anyway working with 3 boses in one time is just immpossible. No matter what how good you are, 3 boses with 3 different way,no wonder my position is 'hot seat' a.k.a ga ada yang tahan lebih dari 6 bulan!!!!

Btw...akhirnya vacation time! Gilaaa padahal ga ada diagenda tahunan gue, tau-tau gue bakal vacation ke Yogyakarta ama' Leni.
Hm...kayaknya bakal ada yang bokek neh bulan depan ha ha ha
ya itulah,sometimes we cant predict the life ya~~
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There's a B Side in Everystory [30 Aug 2008|11:55am]
So...where are we?
Ok, job is severly sarcastically crazy, one obesesive man, 2 drama queen, 1 naive freak, etc etc...so i call my office now the opposite, I-SAD.
But anyway, There's a B Side in every story...and y'know i'm not person who take a side which gank that i'll followed so when i go home...resting...the one thing that i'l do it, reset my brain and NOT mention about office thingie outside office and YES
i'm HAPPY much much more a HAPPY PERSON

anyway, yesterday is crazy
i sleep in my ate house...ate ellen and ate leni (ate = older sister in Tagalog) and yes the main challange is how to smuggling me to their house without someone know it. (yes there's someone else in the house that I DONT want to meet) It is soo high school...and when in there, we were just talking about boy and man...

Last wednesday i went to Atmajaya to see Geisou
japanese - indonesia music and dance festival, which the perforamance is from some university in Japan.

Yup, i watch them coz there's Taiko if i'm not wrong they named Wadaiko Raku
wow..it's amazing, hands down for the Shime Taiko ensamble...
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[16 Aug 2008|11:22am]
Just remembering what Lucas said and warned me, and hell Jesus he's rite
"In the end, that office job is same old sh*t...it will be always the same and dont expect that people will appreciate you (from the office thingie)"

This office politic in my ofiice is getting higher and higher...
gozz, i do only alive on sat - sunday

and yet, my opinion about fake christian - religious people is still the same as before...well actually more worst than i think. Well my opinion is...they just suck *ha ha ha*
the relation about this fake christian, coz i felt thats what i'm dealing in this job.

i was born in new christian family. That time, all my big family are crazy in love with christian church thingie. You name it...my granma house become house of pray, my aunties are the high members from church (which we called "Gembala Sidang")
seems so fuckin' perfect, but you know every sunday is like hypocrite day...

i saw my aunt always scold at her maid about preparing church thingie, gossip around the 'Gembala Sidang', people try to be 'as seen' in church...fuckin filthy rich people donate lots of money and think to cover their asses.
Oh Jesus...its horrified.
And me...hey i was score 9 on christian subject in school. i am so know about the bible story

And when i grown up
i think...lets get over this. i stop myself to go to the church? why? i believe that when i go to the church, all i'm thinking in my mind is.."oww look that person, he's so blablabla" "ewww look that pervert man, he just came to the church to seek girlfriend, and the list goes on"
so the point is, i never be a good *tottaly* person if i go to the church,and enough with the hypocrite thingie (and yes i know several persons's life outside church and it appears so disgreaceful) and i believe that i can see and feel His present NOT only in church.

that's what is happening now
that people...(dear lord,i still try to not ACCUSED the all people who go to the church)
'those' people appear to be so nice and seen as 'the angelic' people but in the real life, those people only pray to US Dollars and Rupiah alias money. They are being Your servent, but they NOT be the serve their own friends and family.

thank you, for creating me to be myself like this.
i'm so happy with what i am coz' you can never lie to God rite?
and when i need God, He always there, i can read His mind with little bible in my home, i still can read nice and greatful emails from randomly that teach me to be good.

if i'm not happy with those way that people just follow, why should i force myself to do it?
so the point it, i still choose to NOT GO TO THE CHURCH.

And...for 'those people'
screw you, hope you burn in hell for what being hypocrite in front of Jesus house
you are more dirty than anything

OK...yang merasa tersinggung...maaf
if you think this entries is offensive,i'm really sorry
i dont blame anyone, this is just my thought
and btw i'm a sinful person too...but i'm being honest about it..at least
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[09 Aug 2008|08:40am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Cant say any words, but this is the song that I need rite now...
and since i am spiritual person, but not chritian freak person, i lay low and i'm enjoying this song...
reflex that this is what God would sing to me...

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
"Just what your worth"

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

*Coldplay - Fix You*

Me & My Choco Pals,
Tomorrow no Taiko practice, but will party for these success and Suijan Sensei b'day party!!
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50years Japan Indonesia Festival [02 Aug 2008|09:47am]
I'm Alive again...

Ok..acara 50thn Indonesia-Japan Friendship Festival keren banget!!
Gue bangga sekaligus bersyukur bahwa selama ini gue latihan, menghasilkan sesuatu yang membanggakan...
apalagi pas bertemu langsung sama Zako Mizuho secara langsung...ngeces.com!
she's so great mindblowing taiko player!.

Untuk performance Yosakoi Soran sendiri...manteb!!
pas perform,ternyata 'nendang' banget dibanding kelompok lain. Dari rame nya,atributnya, sampe atraksi piramid yang menakutkan itu! Walopun tuh kostum asli berat banget!
thanks to Takako sensei who makes this dreams come true...

walopun acaranya agak molor gara-gara hujan, tapi pas bon odori keren banget
secara...yang maen taiko proffesiional, trus kita pada berjejer make kostum taiko Sukeroku yang warna warni...sugooiiii narcis-narcis deh~~

haaa....beneran rasanya pengen banget jadi pemaen taiko profesional dan bersanding sama Zako Mizuho....
next target...: beneran pengen belajar taiko lebih dalam dan belajar bhs jepang!! Gila kerasa banget ketemu idola didepan mata,tapi ga bisa berkata-kata...*damn*, dan membuat otot tangan !! i kindda such as hand muscle fettish now hauwhuahwuawauh look Maddona & zako Mizuho's arms...wow i think i consider Leni's boxing lesson to build my muscle...

the pic

ini dia si Zako Mizuho dan yang dibelakang namanya Fujita Tomomi

Zako Mizuho diatas yagura

gue dibawah yagura,pake baju dobel-dobel...bayangin panasnya!! (it bcoz kita ga boleh buka baju sukeroku sebelum bon odori mulai)

Fujita Tomomi...

Gue sebelum manggung Yosakoi

sama para wanita yang menari bon odori diatas yagura
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it's not right-but irt's ok [27 Jun 2008|02:54pm]

Sometimes, life is really funny...
i was so tired from office, and i do need some refreshment
and what i got?! i got 3 times of kisses...from that boy
* remind;2 of them in the lips*

wow...what a suprisingly nite
he assist me to go to his house which is no way since i have to work in early morning
well well well

it's just not right but it's ok...*oh-bless-whitney-houston-for-this-song*
3 comments|post comment

Ironic [07 Jun 2008|11:30am]
Life is kindda...so ironic
but then, in the end we jsut laugh about it...
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[19 May 2008|11:43am]
Welcome I-Smile...Goodbye EF

Finally, i decided to re-sign from EF and welcome I-SMILE School !!!!!
actually i'm little bit scared of get out from the 'comfort zone'. (and yet-this comfort zone is no more comfortable).Since i've been in EF for 1 year 2 months. There's lots of happiness and cry (well,as you can see that more of cry than laughter). And 'They' (the superiour) were helping me, taugh me and yet dis-grace me from my self i guess it is enough.
Enough is Enough!!!

Even i dont know about this new company, an international school in Belezza,Permata Hijau. Just wish me luck~~
i hope so much that this new company is more comfortable and more worthed and i can be MORE better too.

I belive i dissapointed my supervisors but in the end, they make me more dissapointed to them!. What i'm feeling right now is really being dumped-or-i feel that "i love and hold on something that they didnt do it vice versa". My heart's broke!! Really...

No apologize, no sorry and yet still they angry to me why i want to receive new job desk eventhough i want to resign. For god sake, i dont want to re-sign in the first place, i think and re-think for 100X times, i'm losing sleep and cannot eat thinking of that. But what i've been worried about is so unworthy because they think what i'm worthless for the company

So i guess in the end of the day...what i've been doing from this 1 years and fucking 2 months is worthless to them. i dont feel being respect at all, i dont feel being valued at all. So ok EF...eat your target out!! I'm so pissed off and so devestated and so angst.

Maybe i'm the underdog employee...i'm not the employee of the months, i'm Not the superstar in selling target
but i'm there. i work, i pray alot for my students,i pray for my company, i was having too much schold and bullied and i'm so fine. i WAS love EF. The supervisor taught me a lot...it is,and i admit that. Thank You for all the Memories!!!

But NOw...it's over. I didnt respect them esp the owner, and that 2 supervisor that i THOUGHT they're a good person. THe person who held my back is only the principal, Steve. *I heart you steve...*

Fuck! i still have to work 2 weeks there...

So in the end, now i do feeling dumb and stupid. There have been 13 persons who re-sign in my 1year2months working in EF. YES 13 persons!!!! (- soon 14 with me n' the marketing person!!!) and it didnt count the teachers. From the general affairs,security and Course consultants like me. So i can prove myself that i'm resistant enough and strong enough but yet i feel stupid i finally wait for 1 year2months to wait. Waiting to be loved...waiting to being seen...waiting to be apreciatted.

So i guess i'm the victim of them.they were make me sure that i'm not worth living and think that i'm the stupidest person in entire earth, and i believe God didnt made a person worth like that.

i'm not like them,i can pretend
the sun is gone, i have a light
the days done, i'm having fun
i think i'm dumb, maybe just happy
and think i'm just happy

my hearts broke, i have some glue
help me in hell, i meant with you
we flewed around, hang out in clouds
and then we can down , having a hanging over

see the sun and fall a sleep
wish u away and the soul is cheap
lesson learn,wish me luck
still the burn,to wake me up

i think i'm dumb...

Nirvana - Dumb


IF one day...i'm the boss

i am having this list, so in the future...when someday i'll be the boss,or manager or the CEO of some company. I still remember my days of being ordinary employee...
and what i've been through from my working experiences

1. If i were a boss...i'll BRAVE enough to counter my mistakes in front of my downline and understand them that people can do mistake. (Not a boss who to chicken and hide their mistake)

2. If i were a boss...i'll take really care my employee welfare. Dont let them MORE poor after they working in my company

3. If i were a boss...i'll NOT SCOLD them who done mistakes. i'll handle it with profesionallism NOT being scold like a elementary school kids.

4. If i were a boss...i'll not OR at least decrease my own mood swing...and being an ass for a day without any reason

5. If i were a boss...i'll be OPEN and OPEN MINDED with my downline

6. If i were a boss...i'll be more concern with the underdog employee not just the 'superstar' employee

7. If i were a boss...i'll be appreciate with the second base employees such as office boy,drivers,maid,etc

8. If i were a boss...i'll always give second chance to be more perform. Not just dump the employee with one perspective

this is must be crazy BUT i'll do it

9. If i were a boss...and i find my employee cant perform well,because he/she really not 'into' or 'fit in' the job, like example, 'a scientist person is not going to and so-cannot be a salesman person' i will give them chance to put them in correct ability, not still force them to be -salesman person- or sort like that lah~~

if one day this things happening to me...
please reminds me of these kind of things. I know to be a boss is being someone to be 'hated' but still i want to be a boss who have HEART.

And please God, i hope i can have boss like in that list now...

Taiko...Goes to Bandung

Wake up in 6am in the morning. I didnt think that's what i called 'wake up' since i think i didnt sleep that day. I got injured from fell down in my knee and well the wounds is kickin' off.
I arrived to Skyline Building on 8am, i was watching the street parade in Thamrin and we went to bandung at 8.30am sharp.

We played in Setiabudi Supermarket in outdoor place ( i hate outdoor place) and not only that this time several super senpai came and played with us. Such as Ina who joined the Shunrai and Tanti who watched us. (i bet,next week we will be tortured coz i knew we didnt play as good as usuall)

Then, we got half an hour for shopping in Cihampelas and went back to Jakarta at afternoon. AND we didnt go back to our hourse first, coz we had to practice Yosakoi first.

me went home at 7 pm and so so so exhausted...

PS: Goodbye Sophan Sophiaan....
i'm on big condolence feeling now.i didnt know him at all, i just saw him in TV but i can fell how's Widiyawati feel. They're meant to be forever and it's a big lost when he died.
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[04 May 2008|10:20pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Tears in the office

i feel like shi*t...why my swing mood happens in the wrong place, right time for my boss
showing my broken side. And supposed to be the test point.
i'm so dead...

i feel like loser...
and i'm so getting bored and depressed
i just dont like people know my broken side
i know i'm not that tough
i'm not that wonder woman
belive me i dont have a self control,a big self confident

i always feel lonely in the crowd
i dont honest to by self..a lot
i'm hatefull person
i'm a hit and run person
i run run and run
i was trying to be better person, try to be tough
and a second later, i talk it to other person...and she's my bos

Thank you very much
for this beautiful ironic life
i just...dont know
i want to run so much, and i try so fucking hard to NOT run
i want something new...i'm so getting bored
this is so eating me alive and suicidal


Not so Taiko - Yosakoi day

I get up late for my Taiko's practice today. i have to use taxi to reach there...damn it that cost a lot
but i do know that japanese people OR at least japanese culture dislike late
my practice in o-daiko quite good
at least i'm not feeling so tired, playing in the big taiko 'o-daiko'
and after that we spend lots of time by taking lunch in AMpera *oishii desho*
and Yosakoi practice.

This time Yosakoi's practice MUCH more better than last week...
but i guess now my sunday will really FULL with taiko and yosakoi. I always arrive at home at 8 pm
and its tiring...really

18th may - i'll perform in Bandung

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